


Rattled

by Flywoman



Category: The X-Files
Genre: M/M, Poetry, The Red and the Black
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1998-03-18
Updated: 1998-03-18
Packaged: 2017-10-20 12:58:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/213017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flywoman/pseuds/Flywoman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We've got to stop meeting like this. Post-"The Red and the Black."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rattled

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Fox Mulder legally belongs to the incomparable Chris Carter and Alex Krycek rightfully belongs to the inimitable Rachel Lee Arlington (I am not worthy! I am not worthy!). Other loans include quotes from the Counting Crows and the Bible.

You struck like a serpent-  
Crushed leather rose in my nostrils  
Even struggling to bridge two truths,  
I noticed you smelled like almonds-  
Cyanide. You are pure poison  
Dark as decaying honey.  
I know this,  
And yet  
I could drown in your eyes  
That little oblivion,  
that green apple sea.  
"Things are looking up"-  
We've got to stop meeting like this.

Looking at you,  
I despise  
Myself, coarse and fleshy beside  
That face, perfect as a malevolent cherub's,  
That voice, its caressing edge like a razor blade  
I steeled myself against it  
In vain. All flesh is grass  
So much bone-dry tinder  
Ignited instantly by your breath  
But I'm not-  
But I never-  
Liar, coward, murderous vermin  
Am I betrayed with a kiss?

Your every arrival  
Heralds a fresh albatross  
Will I ever be free of new guilt?  
And even after all these years  
I have to know:  
Did you kill him?  
Cold bastard that he was, he was still  
My father  
Agamemnon, Ugolino, but still  
My father,  
His bitter legacy  
This cup that will not pass from me  
I swallow. I swallow-

You asked me to choose:  
Resist  
or serve.  
Are you colonel or cannon fodder  
In this war you claim to wage?  
And do you want me  
for pawn or partner  
My false disciple  
My faithless friend  
You leave me mired  
In doubt and desire  
*Tovarisch? Bozhe moi*,  
Why hast thou  
Forsaken me?


End file.
